Miss Universe 2017: ‘Frozen’, crystals and mambo

By Meli.

After 45 minutes looking for a decent and fast streaming online, Jen and I could enjoy a new edition of Miss Universe.

This one caught us in opposite sides of the Atlantic and reminded us that the candidates rely way too much on the silver/gold/crystals/white formula for their dresses. It became a sad canon that leaves the misses creating a languid frame with un-exciting colors.

Anyway, here are the top 10 candidates of Miss Universe 2017 and a few extra ones just because we love you.


The only thing sadder that a pageant queen in a dress just like all other dresses, is one in a dress with a beautiful color and a bad design. We applaud her will to do something different, but pageants require a delicate balance between audacious and mainstream. Kudos for the hair.


Jen says the over-skirt is annoying, but I believe it gives her the "pageant touch" it needed. Beautiful dress and appropriate for a social occasion, but without the tail.


“If it's not broken, don't fix it" looks like the motto for Colombian candidates. The last four years our misses have applied the same formula on crystals. This dress fulfills its mission, but nobody is going to remember it next year.


Show girl gone bad. She was so close to having a nice, regular dress, but no, someone is always trying to add something else. That's how she ended with a feather boa on her boobs and as a tail.


So close, yet so far away. With that silhouette, neckline, shoulders and details, we could have named her honorary best dressed, but no, someone said "¡let's show more boob!" and glamour left the building.


I think I've seen that same dress 800 times in the last five years.


Finally someone did color and a flattering silhouette! But at this point I'm starting to think there is some sort of "colour curse" in Miss Universe: if the color is bright, everything else will be wrong. Here are the dingily things on her shoulders, Elsa's cape from Frozen and the inexpensive looking bead work (which is a subtle way of saying "it looks cheap").

South Africa

Nothing happens with this dress. If we must say something good about it, it will be that is a perfect shade of nude; if we must say something bad, it will be that the slit between the legs look vulgar. Beyond that, we won't remember this tomorrow. Worth noting: she knew she was getting that crown and styled her hair accordingly.


¡Something different! A striking dark blue and a deep cleavage (maybe too deep, but let's give her the benefit of the doubt). So much is right that we can forgive the fact that she is about to burst singing Let it go anytime now. (And if you think we are using one too many Frozen references, that's because you didn't hear me while looking at the preliminary competition: capes EVERYWHERE).


This was a missed opportunity and a huge mistake from her team. That girl has a striking body and the dress makes her look like she has no waist. How come she has 300 advisors and nobody notices this? On the other hand, Jen says it doesn't matter because she already scored her wedding gown.


Iris Mittenaere

The former Miss Universe chose the best dress of her life to give away her crown. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture because it is completely perf... Wait, her shoes are horrible.

Great Britain

We could not finish this post without acknowledging all those smart candidates that chose a swimsuit and a beach wrap as a dress for a beauty pageant.


This pseudo dress is so messed up, it makes Great Britain's dress look elegant and sophisticated.


Thanks for reading and to all of you who joined us on our Instagram Live commenting on these dresses. Don't forget to follow us on social media for exclusive content: Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

See you next time!

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